I’m sitting in Whataburger trying to work on my sex book.  I’m editing a chapter in which I meet swingers – lifestylers, partner-swappers – through Craigslist.  But I’m having trouble concentrating because there’s a lifestyle group meeting in my neighborhood this weekend.  Part of me, a large part of me, wants to be at their party watching and reporting.  Since I can’t, since I need to write rather than report, I came to the WB thinking the lifestylers might drop in for breakfast.  I think I was right … as I sit here watching the customers, trying to figure out who might and might not be swingers.

So far, I think I’ve seen six possibles.  (Freudian slip – I initially typed sex possibles.)  Two were females who ran in to get drinks and as they filled their soda cups, they talked about the men they’d seen and the ones they were attracted to.  Two were male-female couples.  One couple was older and ultra-fit.  In fact, the man – if not for his aged face and toupee – would have passed for 20 years younger.  He was that buff.  After briefly checking me out, he kept watching the two younger women getting their drinks.  His wife?  She reminded me of a fit blonde I saw at the first swing club I went to.

Piles of garbage lined the sidewalk to our right.  Three lengths of velvet rope stretched along the sidewalk to our left.  Maybe a dozen people stood behind the rope trying to get into the club, but we weren’t going to that nightclub.  We were going to the one across the street, the one that had garbage in front of it – a club for couples who have recreational sex with multiple, consenting partners.  Utilizing the vernacular of the 1970s, it is a club for swingers, though today’s practitioners prefer to be called lifestylers.*

For those who don’t know me, I was at the swing club solely for research.  The WB?  Well, I’m here for the sausage biscuit, endless supply of Diet Coke, and the swingers.

As for the other swinging couple at the WB, actually, they were the first ones here.  They were sitting near my favorite table, so normally I would have sat near them.  Today, I didn’t.  I was thinking I needed space and privacy to edit.  Now I wish I had sat near them so that I could have talked to them.  He wasn’t as fit as the older gentleman, but he was flirtatious with his wife like he was ready to party.  And she was dressed ready to flirt in her bikini with a skimpy cover-up that revealed her pierced belly button.  In fact, that’s something I noticed about lifestyling women – the older they get, the more likely they are to get piercings and tattoos.  But that’s for book two, not the book I’m working on today.

Oh, wait!  Four more lifestylers just walked in.  I gotta go watch.  As a friend of mine said about me, “I watch; I write.”  The writing’s going to have to wait ‘cause … “Are you with the lifestyle group?” I whisper.

“Yes,” he says.

* From my sex book-in-progress.

Suzy Spencer is a New York Times best-selling author and journalist.
  1. Steve Reply
    I sit here reading your blog and paged down to the notes on napkins. I feel like I'm going to be part of history. Lol
    • Suzy Reply
      Steve?! Have we ever met? There's no Steve in my book. ;) (I never reveal my sources names, 'cept in notes on napkins! Oh, geez, I'm so sorry.) Meet Angela. She's actually in the book as Angela and frequently comments here. (BTW, I'm supposed to be doing final edit on your pages this week, so if you feel someone is thinking about you and pondering you, well, you'll know who it is.)
  2. Angela Reply
    So that weird little tingling buzz is you, huh? Lol. I will relate why I use my real name in the kink community and when communicating about my experiences in the kinky world. I was having a truly wonderfully nasty wicked scene with a new male sub when he tried to call my attention to a restraint that was constricting his circulation. He used my scene name. He used my scene name several times until it dawned on me that it was me he was calling. After that little faux pas I decided to just be who I am at all times so there is no need to remember my alter ego handle.
    • Suzy Reply
      Wow, interesting, Angela. I can see how that'd happen.
  3. Karen Jonson Reply
    Hi Suzy. I met you a couple months ago at a Texas Writer's League meeting (we sat next to each other and you told me your working title). As soon as I read this post on your blog today, I couldn't wait to read your book. As I read more posts, I was impressed by how you are sharing your process. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing so much insight on your writing journey -- it's fascinating ... and I'll keep reading. I'll be starting my own blog soon. Best Karen
    • Suzy Reply
      Thanks, Karen. I remember you well. We had a good and fun conversation until we were interrupted by a man staring over my shoulder. I look forward to your blog.
  4. Karen Jonson Reply
    Suzy, Did you see this? I found it under the Amazon reviews for a book called Sex at Dawn http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/sexy_beasts/
    • Suzy Reply
      No, I hadn't seen this. Thank you. What I found most interesting was the portion where he compared this book to others. Reminded me of a book proposal, meaning the dos and don'ts of the "competition" section of a book proposal.

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